summer (eh) "the guy" (yay)

okay so my summer hasnt gone like I thought it would :/ but it has had its up sides :) I leave for a cruise tomorrow which will get my mind off things so that will be good! So <3 <3 <3 I have a crush haha. I know it didnt take long to get over Ian but he was a jerk. I havent told "the guy" yet but Im pretty sure he knows lol... He isnt what my friends would call their type but screw them I like him!

well thats all for now,
Court.

This is now in my bathroom... I see it every morning. It was what my great grandpa always told me, "You are what you create" I never got it really when I was younger but he always told me. Whenever he gave me a gift or sent me a card it was always written on it. It started annoying me about two years ago and one day last year I told him I didnt get it and that he should stop saying it all together. I still remember the hurt on his face and the tears in his eyes. I hurt him more than I will ever know but he never said it again... I now wish I could hear him say it one more time, I miss him and I miss his voice. I miss those words... I know that he was just telling me to be myself, be who I wanna be cause in the end..... You are what you create


Court.

Unexpected

well my boyfriend went off to beach week and someone posted pictures of him drunk with another girl online :/ I called him and thought he would say he was sorry and beg for me back but he didnt... He just said it was over. Then not even two mintues later my dad gets a call telling him my great grandpa who Im really close to just passed away :(. The last time I saw him he was perfectly okay... nothing was wrong at all I just dont know why all this stuff happens at one time :/

Well thats me,

Court.

he loves me....

Well I went to the beach yesterday with my boyfriend... and my brother lol. But it was nice to have someone to hold hands with and stuff :) we were taking a walk on the beach when he just stopped and looked at me and told me he loved me. I felt unbelievable but I just froze... I DIDNT SAY IT BACK! Oh Lord it was horrible a look of panic went acrossed his face. :/ I felt horrible but I still didnt say anything! The words just wouldnt come out I dont understand why but they just wouldnt. It felt like hours before he finally just took my hand and started walking again... I now know how strong he is now cause I know how hard it is to say I love you for the first time and not get an answer :(. I felt so bad but all I could do was walk with him. Then all of a sudden I go this feeling in my stomach and all I wanted to do is kiss him and tell him how much he means to me but I just couldnt get the words out... Later that night we where hanging around my house and I told him I loved him too a big smile crossed his face and he kiss me. It was wonderful!!!

Well talk to you later,
Courtney :)

Im just not sure.

So I was born in raised for 12 years in Las Vegas before I came to New Kent and I lived there for about 3 months before moving to Highland Springs. I have learned that even though I have moved around alot in lived in different houses nothing will ever be the same as our old house in Vegas. I guess cause I was raised there and I lived there when my mom and brother were still alive and we were all one big happy family. Ya know? Im not saying my life is bad cause it is far from it! I really do love my life and my step-mom really is great but something has always been missing... I mean I dated the same guy for 3 almost 4 years. He, by the way was my first boyfriend and he ended up cheating on me but life lessons really did come out of all that :) but anyway I thought love was what I was missing but I was wrong I really need was to feel trusted. My brother and me use to share everything I knew everything about him and he knew everything about me. I had a friend open up to me the other day and I was able to help and I felt trusted and needed once again. The hole in my gut finally went away...

Raccoons!

Okay so Monday last week I left the top down on my car and a raccoon got in there and had babies!! Lol so I am keeping care of them. I named them after my friends. The oldest one is April, after my step sister. The middle one and the only guy is Jacob and the youngest is Dot after my best friend :) and yes her name is Dot. So anyway April always sleeps and hangs around the mom but Dot and Jacob are always together. They are so cute! But they get in alot of trouble lol Jacob actually got in my purse and came to work with me today!! He is in the back calling for Dot but she is in my room probably looking for him.

Well anyway I gotta get back to work!,
Court :)